"A Year to Remember"

This past year, I had the opportunity to stay home with Titus and to keep my precious nephew Levi. 

With that being said, I must admit, there were some moments that I feared CrAZiNesS was going to overtake me! However, I can honestly say, that having the purpose each morning to love and to be loved by two adventurous little boys, made my heart glad and my soul rejoice!

The sweet memories of each day and every moment (even those I just mentioned above) will forever remain on my mind and in my heart.

I have and will continue to consider them a beautiful gift.

A gift that I am extremely thankful for...and one that I will treasure forever!

(Thanks to cousin Hope, we now know that these boys are going to make AWESOME daddies! )

Levi and Titus.
Cousins by birth.

Friends for life.

“Sons are a heritage from the LORD, children a reward from Him.” Psalm 127:3

Thank you, Aaron and Justin, for sharing your precious little boy with me this year! It truly was...  A Year to Remember!  

"April Showers"

My "Journey to One Thousand" continues...

633. A beautiful day for a trip to the park!

634. He loves to play on the "big kid" slides! (Such an adventurer!)

635. He ate his first box of popcorn and loved it! 

636. He is getting so big...and heavy! 

637. Thankful for two strong legs! (He walks and runs so well!)

...

645. UMHB's Easter Pageant. 

646. My cousin Coley, so humbly, playing the role of Jesus.

...

651. "Resurrection Cookies" with Ma J! 

652. A kitchen filled with laughter! :)

653. Easter morning! (Praise God, the grave has been conquered!) 

654. A sunrise breakfast in the backyard. 

655. Baby ducks and baby chicks. (Thank you Uncle Justin!) 

656. Hunting Easter eggs with his cousins.

657. Happy boys playing on the trampoline.

...
663. A day spent outside in the sunshine!

664. No bake, chewy granola bars.
665. Dark Chocolate covered gogi berries...yum!
...
670. Productive days.
671. Sunday morning praise and worship.
672. A kindergarten class full of precious kiddos.
...
675. Tossing the football and practicing math facts (with a special 4th grader!)
676. Shooting hoops together in the hot sun.
...
680. He climbs into his high chair all by himself.
681. He loves to eat fruit!
682. Picking and eating blackberries from the yard.
683. The smell of jasmine blooming.
684. Legs buried in the sand!

685. Catching bugs with a curious toddler!

...

690. A baseball game with Nana and Paw-Paw.

691. He loves riding in Paw-Paw's big blue truck!

692. Two blonde cousins sharing a big bowl of popcorn!

693. A fun evening spent with family. 

...

707. His smile makes me smile...every time!

708. His laugh makes me laugh...every time!

...

711. He pats my back so sweetly when he hugs me...love it.

...

720. He thinks it's fun to help mommy mow the yard!

721. He loves to play outside!

722. Watching him play in the rain...so fun!

723."Hi Mommy!" (I love to hear that first thing in the morning!)
724. Calls and texts from sweet friends.
725. The love of family.

April was indeed FULL of showers! 

Showers of beautiful blessings. 

May our hearts fill with joy, dear friends, as we learn to look up...even in the rain... and see the goodness of the Lord!

"I Will Run To You"

(Run for the Rose, March 25, 2012- A 5K event supporting Brain Cancer Research)

For me, it is always the last mile. The point in the race when I feel like I am going to die! The finish line is closer than ever before and yet, all I can think about is my exploding lungs! The work it takes and the pain I feel to just breathe at this point is utterly ridiculous!  My mouth is SO dry, yet I feel as though I could choke on my own spit...or maybe it is vomit! Gross, huh?! Tell me about it.  I want so badly to just to throw myself on the sidelines during these awful moments and hack and wheeze until my whole body stabilizes again.

Funny how fast things can change in such a short amount of time...

Just minutes before, the blow horn sounded, and the race began. That first mile. I absolutely loved it! My adrenaline was pumping, the crowd was cheering, and I took off! Happy, excited, eager! It was early, but I didn't care. It was a little chilly, but I didn't notice. Philip Wickham cranked up on my Ipod and I couldn't keep the smile off my face as my feet took off to the beat and my heart shouted along with the lyrics...

At Your Name

the morning breaks in Glory

At Your Name

Creation sings Your story

At Your Name

Angels will bow

the earth will rejoice

Your people cry out...

Lord of all the earth 

We shout Your Name, shout Your Name

Filling up the skies with endless praise, endless praise...!

"Oh wow!" I thought to myself as I looked up to the sky, "what a BEAUTIFUL Sunday morning it is!! This is so fun! I love running!"

The second mile then began. I felt myself slowing down...but I kept going. It was getting harder, but I could see the water table in the distance. "Just make it...almost there!" I grabbed a sip of water and I pressed on. As people began to pass me, I realized that the smile was slipping from my face. I felt myself grimace with every step...every breath. I looked at my watch...wanting to beat my previous time. I have to keep going. My hands began to throb and all I could think about was how cloudy and moist out it was! I felt the sweat dripping down my back and I became increasingly irritated with the headband that kept slipping from my hair. "Ugh!" I thought to myself, "I just want to stop!" Right then, however, while completely overwhelmed and aware of my own weakness, I heard Mandisa's powerful voice crank up:  

When the waves are taking you under

Hold on just a little bit longer

He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger

The pain ain't gonna last forever

And things can only get better

Believe me

This is gonna make you stronger...

My feet started moving faster as I focused on the lyrics and not on the pain. I fixed my headband (once again), pushed up my sleeves, and kept going. Mile three was just ahead!

And then, like a brick wall, I hit it. The third mile. The hardest in the race for me. The last leg of the journey. Just to make this dreaded mile a little more fun for all the runners, there was a hill in the course. A bridge that we all had to go up and over in order to finish. "You have got to be kidding me!" I thought to myself as I saw it approaching. My pace slowed drastically and my breathing got even more labored. "There is no way I can do this!" I wearily thought, "this is NO FUN at all! I hate running!!" I looked at my watch and I realized that I was getting close to the end. (The end of the race, or the end of my life...I wasn't quite sure, and in all honesty, in that moment, I really didn't care.) All I knew is that I wanted to finish! I wanted it all to end! I just had to make it over that bridge and then it was the home stretch! "Here we go" I thought, as I painfully started the climb. 

A new song cranked up, and desperate for a diversion, I listened intently. 

Wish it could be easy

Why is life so messy

Why is pain a part of us

There are days I feel like

Nothing ever goes right

Sometimes it just hurts so much

My pace quickened as I listened to the beautiful voice of Kari Jobe...

But You're here

You're real

I know I can trust You

As the chorus started and the music heightened, I felt a surge of energy.

Even when it hurts

Even when it's hard

Even when it all just falls apart

I will run to You

Cause I know that You are

Lover of my soul

Healer of my scars

You steady my heart 

My soul connected and my feet cooperated... 

I'm not gonna worry

I know that You got me

Right inside the palm of your hand

Each and every moment

What's good and what gets broken

Happens just the way that You plan

I took a deep breath. My heart felt refreshed and I knew, in that moment, that I was going to make it. 

And I will run to You

You're my refuge in Your arms

And I will sing to You

Cause of everything You are

You steady my heart 

To make a long story short, I made it up that hill...and even down it! :) And I finished the race in 27 minutes, 30 seconds. The best time I have ever had in a 5K event. 

Crazy how, after a race like that, you can feel so good! Especially when, while you are running it, you can feel so bad! 

Difficulty. It is so hard and painful in the midst. However, once you make it through and you look back, you can see how each moment of it caused you to grow stronger. How each moment of it caused you to rely on something or Someone bigger than yourself. 

For me, it was and is the...

Lover of my soul

Healer of my scars

Thank you, Kari Jobe, for the beautiful reminder that He truly does...

steady my heart

Sweet Jesus...

Even when it hurts

Even when it's hard

Even when it all just falls apart

I will run to You.

"Timeless Treasures"

Martin Luther. A German priest, a Bible scholar, and an iconic figure of the Protestant Reformation. I so admire him and the great work that he did for the Lord and for the Church during his lifetime. Although I hold Martin Luther in high regard, it is the life of his wife Katharina (who he called Katie) that fascinates me the most.  Once married, she joined Luther’s calling and selflessly walked beside him through the ups and the downs. Their life together, their ministry, I can’t even begin to imagine the challenges they faced. They lived a life not only in opposition to the world, but also to the church of that day and age, and because of that, their life was difficult. For most of their marriage they lived in poverty, and of their 6 children, only four of them lived to adulthood. Martin Luther himself was plagued with great illnesses. For years he suffered physical pain, and that pain, those illnesses, is what eventually led to his death in 1546. Through it all, Katie stood as a pillar of strength, and with a thankful spirit, she once said...

 “I would never have known the meaning of various psalms, come to appreciate certain difficulties, or known the inner workings of the soul; I would never have understood the practice of the Christian life and work, if God had never brought afflictions to my life.”

When I think about that quote of hers and when I read about her life, I sometimes wish that I could have known her; that I could have sat and chatted with her over a cup of hot tea (or a big glass of sweet iced tea!). And in our conversation, I would have eventually asked her, ”which of the ‘various Psalms’ are you referring to?” I would have asked because I am curious...I just want to know...which ones? Which ones did she cling to in her lifetime? When her pantry was empty? When her children died in her arms...one after another? When her husband left the house? When fear would grip her? Or when, after years of sacrificial service to the Lord and to the Church, her husband lay lifeless in their bed...sick, miserable, plagued with illness? When she was weary? When she felt too weak to go on? Which of the Psalms, that David penned  so long ago to the Lord in his own anguish and despair...comforted her? Which ones did she claim as her own, gain strength from, find meaning in? 

I just wonder...

Did she cry out like David did in Psalm 6 “My soul is anguish, How long, O LORD, how long?!” 

In her questioning, did she lift up praises, as in Psalm 13? “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me.”

In midst of poverty, while she worked hard to feed her family, was her heart comforted and her mind eased by the words in Psalm 37:18-19? “The days of the blameless are known to the Lord, and their inheritance will endure forever. In times of disaster they will not wither; in days of famine they will enjoy plenty.”

Did she meditate on the words from Psalm 30? “I will exalt you O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths...O Lord, you brought me up from the grave you spared me from going down into the pit...weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning!” 

Did she memorize Psalm 71:14-21? “But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long, though I know not it’s measure. I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, O Sovereign LORD; I will proclaim your righteousness, yours alone. Since my youth, O God, you have taught me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray do not forsake me, O God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come. Your righteousness reaches to the skies, O God, you who have done great things. Who, O God, is like you? Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again.”


On the lonely days, after she lost her husband, did she gain peace from Psalm 21:6? “Surely you have granted him eternal blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence.”

Did Psalm 68:5 give her comfort? “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in His holy dwelling.” 


Was she able to smile? Because...“Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy.” Psalm 126:5


And later, when remembering God’s faithfulness, did her cries turn to songs of thanskgiving as she clung to Psalm 119:92-93? “If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction. I will never forget your precepts, for by them you have preserved my life!” 


And as her life moved on, did the beautiful words of Psalm 18:1 remain in her heart and on her lips? “I love you O LORD, my strength!”


I wonder...I am fascinated. 


She clung. We cling.


The beautiful psalms. Understood through affliction.


The perfect words of God.


Timeless treasures. 

"He Already Knows"

When I found out that I was having a boy, it scared me a little bit. In all honesty, I worried myself over it for quite a while. Was I excited? Of course I was! I was just concerned. I was so afraid that I was going to ruin him with my "girlie" ways or unintentionally make him wimpy or overly sensitive. I remember actually praying..."Oh God, a boy? You are asking me to raise a boy?! How in the world am I supposed to do that? How am I supposed to teach him how to be a boy?!"

And then he was born...

and 17 and a half months later, I have come to realize something...

with absolute certainty...

that although I will need to teach him many things in this life...
lessons that I will probably get wrong more often than I get right...

there is one thing that I will NEVER need to teach him...
and that is...
how to be a boy. 

Somehow, someway...

he already knows.

And when a certain girl told him that it was time to leave because it's gross to play in the chicken coop, this is the face I got...

a face that says, without a doubt, I'm ALL BOY!!

Somehow, someway...

HE already knows.

"Oh Lord, thank you! I absolutely love my precious little dirty boy!"

"Seasons of Change"

One year. It comes and goes so quickly. It rushes by...and it leaves you breathless. Whether we like it or not, January begins and December ends. The seasons come and the seasons go.


Twelve months of life.


Four seasons of change.


Spring...so beautiful. Flowers bloom, butterflies emerge, trees awaken, and the birds start singing! There is nothing better than being outside and breathing in the fresh, warm air of spring! Just the thought of this gorgeous season puts a smile on my face!

And then, as the sun continues to heat up, summer arrives and the sunny days are filled with family, friends, watermelon, sunscreen, and Popsicles! Ahhh...there is nothing better than a good ol' Texas summer! Yes, the season is super hot and extremely sticky; however, it is the one I find myself looking forward to the most, year after year. I absolutely love it! The sunshine makes me happy, and as I reflect, I realize with joy, that some of my most cherished memories have been made in the summertime. 

Fall appears, right on summer's tail, with the changing of the leaves. The sun still shines, although the days are cooler, and the colors are radiant! I love hearing the "crunch" under my feet as I walk and the crackle of a campfire at night. The stars fill the night skies ever so brightly during this season that at times, they can literally take your breath away.

And then, all too soon, the colors start fading, the trees start dying, and the birds take flight. The days get colder, the sky grows darker, and the rains come. Winter arrives.

A year of change.

If I could remove a season from our calendar...it would have to be winter. There is just something depressing about being "couped" up inside and looking out the windows on a dreary, cold day. The trees that once seemed so happy, full of leaves so green, now appear so sad as their empty branches sway in the chilly wind. Their vibrant life, forgotten for a season. Oh, how I long for the bright warmth of the summer sun on the coldest days of winter!

And yet, no matter my opinion or dislike of the season, it continues to arrive...year after year. The calendar begins... and the calendar ends...with winter.

Today, however, as I bundled up to face the day, a realization hit me:

All things must die in order for them to truly live.

It's a depressing thought, I know. But, isn't it so true?

Without the bitter, cold days of winter, we would never know the beautiful, warm days of spring. Unless the flowers die...they will never bloom. If the cold never comes, we would never desire warmth. Without darkness, no one would ever long for the light.

The seasons roll by and the years come and go. Full of change.

And yet, He is in it all.

Oh, to have eyes that are open!

"From the beginning, he prepared us. In the passing of the seasons; in the way flowers spring forth, die, and drop seeds for life to begin again;  in the sunset and sunrise. Jesus' sacrifice is reenacted every day of our lives if we but have the eyes to see." -Hadassah  (A Voice in the Wind by Francine Rivers)

He came, He lived, and He died. Three days later, He rose again, conquering death. Because of that great sacrifice and incredible victory, those who believe will live...though they die. Eternal life awaits them in heaven...praise God! What a precious gift. What a beautiful hope!

All things must die in order for them to truly live.

Oh Lord, open my eyes! May I die to myself. May I learn to truly live! On the darkest days and the coldest nights of winter, may my cries and complaints turn to shouts of joy and songs of thanksgiving. For You are good! Your light shines in the darkness and your presence warms like no fire ever could.

As another year ends and a new one begins, may we join with creation, no matter the season...and proclaim Your glory!

Happy New Year!

"Thinking and Thanking: My Journey to One Thousand!"

1. Having little boy clothes to fold.
2. Quiet mornings.
3. Hand-me-downs! 
4. Clothes that are too small- he's healthy and growing! 
5. Sign Language on little hands.
...
11. Lonely days- they always make me think of You, Lord.
12. Little footsteps down the hallway.
13. Sweet messages from friends.
...
20. Baby Gates!
21. Raindrops!
...
24. A small face filled with innocent wonder. 
...
29. Fresh strawberries covered in Nutella!
...
33. Porch time with people I love.
34. A sleeping baby in the crook of my arm.
...
44. A hot shower after a long day.
45. Clean sheets to crawl in to.
...
49. Horse back riding.
50. A SFA game and dinner with friends!

51. A happy baby in a bubble bath.
...
57. Blue skies.
58. A red bird singing in the tree.
...
64. Little cousins playing together.

65. The first cold front- a relief from the heat!
...
71. Running, sweating, walking, talking- beside my twin.
72. Seeing the "Finish Line" in the distance...running to it...crossing it!
73. A hot bath to soak sore muscles in.
...
85. A Saturday spent with college friends!

86. Babies, two weeks apart, playing together.

87. Titus getting to "hang" with the guys. He loves them!

...
90. Driving up to that familiar "church on the hill" and having the courage to walk in.
91. A familiar face to greet us at the door with a smile, a hug, and a bulletin.
92. Children of God, worshiping with their hands (such a beautiful sight...to see the Deaf praise!) 
...
101. Quiet, peaceful nights
102. A warm house to sleep in.
103. Stars-to fill a dark sky- so beautiful!
104. White, blonde hair
105. Chubby, dimpled cheeks
106. Beautiful blue eyes-they take my breath away!
...
117. Cousins- best friends!

118. Cool days.
119. Blueberries and banana on top of my peanut butter waffle!
...
124. Instant oatmeal
125. Rain!
126. A beautiful rainbow- a beautiful promise!
127. Play dates!
...
134. A playroom- it contains the toys and the boys!
...
142. A day at the Zoo- he LOVED it!
143. Excitement over a train ride.

144. The goats in the petting zoo made him happy!

145. He was afraid of the snakes in the reptile house!
...
151. Little hands feeding the ducks.
152. Hearing laughter as I pull the wagon.
153. A nice evening for a walk.
...
165. Salty lemonades!
166. He climbs on everything...I love his adventurous spirit! 
...
169. He bows his head and "babbles" a prayer of thanks before meals.
...
172. No tears when he entered the nursery this morning!
173. Red and green dip and chicken covered in queso! 
...
180. Naptime.
181. A helper in the kitchen.

182. A good workout.
183. A house to clean.
184. Ma-Ma's peanut butter pies.
185. Thanksgiving!


...and this is as far as I've gotten!


Although I still have a ways to go, I am working on it, and I am loving the "journey to one thousand!" 


Our Savior is so good, and He showers down new mercies daily! No matter how big or small, His blessings always come. May we learn to see them and give thanks for them every single day! 

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!